So... it's
been what... 5 years? Yeah, way too long. Here goes what will likely be an
effort in futility, but perhaps it will get better with time and practice... or
at the very least, it won't be another 5 years before I try doing this again.
Regardless, for the moment anyway, it's time to hop back on that old 'Blogging
Bike' and see if I remember how to ride.
Side Note:
I'm on my laptop and I just went to pull the sleeves of my hoodie up, at which
time I realized I can't do that, as the ridiculous amount of Pandora bracelets
and charms on my left arm are uncomfortable on the keyboard and will likely
scratch the hell out of the Alienware laptop I love so much. Between the 5
bracelets and 2 necklaces, I can not even begin to guess how much I have put
into this crazy collection. When people see it they always say 'You must really
like Pandora'. My response, 'Yeah, just a little... it's an addiction... there
should be rehab for this.' The people laugh and I go on with my life. There
isn't really any need for explanation. It's kind of apparent I have a problem,
or at one time I did anyway. So, that leads me to my next portion... What
breaks an addiction like that? One that causes you to drop by the local jewelry
store and spend a few hundred dollars anytime you are bored, depressed, happy,
or for no reason what-so-ever? Not having the few hundred dollars available to
spend. Yep, that will break an addiction pretty quickly. Sure, there are people
who can not stop an addiction for lack of funding and for those people, I truly
sympathize, as that can lead to some very unsavory activities to acquire said
funding. Not a path anyone truly wants to traverse. But, I digress. In my case,
there came a point where things like food and housing became more important
than Pandora, so my addiction was put on hold. Was it completely cured... no,
not so much, but as any recovering addict would do, I remove myself from the
temptation. I don't look at the website to see what's coming out, what has
already been released, and what will retire before I can get my hands on it. I
don't go near the Pandora concept stores or any jewelry store for that matter.
Sure, I know have credit cards those things could go on, but that is a
discussion for another day, and something I keep myself from doing... for good
and likely obvious reason.
So, today's
blog is brought to you by the letter... L... and the letter C. The letter L is
for Lazy and the letter C is for Cats. Confused yet? LOL Today, I got up, sat
down on the couch to have my morning coffee... at noon (It's my day off, don't
hate) and noted my Lazy Cats lying on the back of the couch and in the spot I
wanted to sit in respectively, as there are two of them, and a blog started
writing itself, in my mind. It's not like this hasn't happened countless times
over the past 5 years, I just haven't actually taken the time to pull out my
laptop and immortalize it in print before it disappears. Today, however,
appears to be the exception. Okay, so you're likely inclined to begin to think
it's a wonderful thing that I am so motivated today and that is awesome.
Yeeaahh... how about, I have a lot of things to get done today... that I am
neglecting, to do this instead. Mostly because I don't feel like actually doing
anything I should (I'll regret that later) and am using this as another in many
good, but only good in my own mind, excuses to procrastinate. Yep, so there you
go. Didn't want you to get the wrong idea. You can thank me for that later...
preferable in the form of a small, or maybe large if you are so moved, checks
or moneys order made out to yours truly. I also accept cash, so don't be afraid
to send that as well... just so you know. I won't hate on your gift of good ol'
American Greenbacks either. Just saying. Now you know. You Are Welcome.
As I read
through my old blogs today, and if you haven't had the chance to do that I
would recommend it, in the instance that you might need a little insanity in your
life or you just have a whole lot of time to spend doing such, or you don't
have the time to spend but are looking for a way to effectively procrastinate...
they are available, here... or on the other page (go back a page), or via a
link to 'The Old Stuff'. Whatever, now you know, and knowing is half the
battle. I'm sure the other half is acting... but if you're reading through all
of this internet vomit, you're not any more likely to actual 'act' today than I
am. Kudos. At the very least, I will amuse, confuse, and confound you for
awhile while you also get less than nothing done with your day. Again, You Are
Welcome... you already know what to do... (see last paragraph). Just a friendly
reminder, of course.
Where was I
going with that? Oh, yeah. As I was reading through my old blogs today, a few
things came to my mind, aside from the realization that I am not doing any of
the things I had planned to do today and if I do it will be at the very last
minute, as is usually the case with my life. Regardless... the few things I
realized: A) It has been a REALLY long time since I have written anything at
all. No, that's not a reason to decline sending a gift. Just saying. B) A LOT
has changed since I was writing before, to the point where I am almost ashamed to
have those things floating out there in cyberspace. Almost. It's my life and
where I was at the moment, so if nothing else, it stands as a testament to
where I was at that place in time and a reminder that everything changes, even
though, at the moment, we don't see that as a possibility or even feel we will ever end up
where we are today. Still, everything has changed, and here I am to write about
it. That's something, and as I've said before, Something is better than
nothing... even though my blog is a testament to the fact that sometimes we can
have entirely 'Too Much... Nothing' in our lives, which may or may not be a
good thing.
On to my
next point, and finally getting to the title of this blog. Incidentally, it
picked itself before I began writing. How does that even happen? A title turns
up and says 'Here I am... Now write about me'. Really? Didn't we get stuck
having to do those exercises in school? Damn that whole education system. Years
later, the same exercise rears it's ugly head and forces you to participate.
Sure, you could say it inspires you. Perhaps, in a way it does, but today I am
going to go with forces, as the need to participate was stronger than the
actual inspiration to write... oh, and I'm effectively procrastinating! Look at
me go!!! Impressive, isn't it? Yeah, I thought so too!
If you know
me or have read some of 'The Old Stuff' section, you get the inference in the
title. If you don't or you haven't and are not going to read that section, even
though that is horribly lazy and unsupportive of you (you know where to send
your penance appropriations), I will help you out a bit. I am a Taurus Tiger.
(I'm not going into that any further as it is thoroughly explained in an
earlier blog and in all reality, you only get so much help if you are unwilling
to help yourself, so deal with it, at least you got a small morsel of understanding.
As always, You Are Welcome.)
The Tiger
portion is today's focus. Fierce and Frightening, Stealthy and Strong, Patient
and Proud, these creatures make their way into our hearts for their beauty,
appearance of friendliness (at first still-frame glance, if in that still frame
they are sleeping), and simple realization of their innate ferocity. One would
imagine this creature could be tamed. Taught to be calm and reserved; taught to
relinquish the instinct to attack; forced to abandon the blood thirst born of a
simple survival; taught to stay in one place, stripped of it's wanderlust and
natural need to keep moving; trained to be reduced to an albeit not so common
pet. I am here to tell you, within the realm of a purely metaphorical
interpretation, this is actually possible. (Do Not Try This At Home... You have
been warned. Yes, You Are Welcome... Again.)
Unfortunately,
a Tiger CAN be reduced to a House Cat, living out it's days lazily lying on the
back of a couch; waiting for sustenance to be provided to it while giving up
it's instinctive desire to hunt, capture, and kill for nourishment; walking around
the feet of its captor longing for a moment's worth of attention and adoration;
sitting at the door remembering a life of freedom, a world abounding with
possibilities, imagining a life unindentured; conceding to a reality of
restriction, an overwhelming loss of free will; and returning once again to the
back of the couch, to dream of a life so long lost, of unrealized dreams, and
be immersed in a nirvana only accessible through a state of deep
unconciousness. This is possible. This is real. This is not as it should be.
One would
imagine there would be sympathy in the heart of the captor. Remorsefulness at
the disenfranchisement of such a majestic creature. Yet, there is none. There
is simply the deranged sense of accomplishment derived from seeing a creature,
tamed at the captor's own hand, as a triumph... as opposed to the tragedy it
truly is. Without going into how this can happen, How one can turn a Tiger into
a Common House Cat, as that would take more time than I will allow myself for
this exercise and will likely open up a few proverbial cans of worms I am not
willing to contend with at the moment... I will simply say, while some believe
'Music Can Calm the Common Beast'... Medication can as well. Tranquilizing an
animal, long term, will of course keep it subdued... more so than will
ultimately be beneficial to any party involved, but nevertheless, the option is
one widely accepted and embraced by captors, captives, and the medical
community as a whole. While there may be some benefits to certain medications,
that in itself, is an entirely separate blog for another day.
I will once
again warn you, dear reader, Do Not Try This At Home. There is an old saying
stating 'A Tiger never loses its stripes'. Take that as a forewarning, an
ominous prophecy, if you will. The pet you may seek to acquire and then take
great pains to subdue and subjugate, is still a wild animal at heart. It still
retains the ability, however deeply interred, to rise up and strike without
warning and without what you will see as reason. Trust, the reason is there. It
always has been. You, dear captor, immersed in your foolish grandiosity, will have
been blind to the writing on the wall... or the stripes on the Tiger, per se.
That is
were I will leave you today, oh fan of my insane blog vomit. Confused,
Confounded, possibly Amused, and perhaps almost Enlightened. Almost. After all,
if I were to actually enlighten you, you would have no need and/ or desire to
wait out the next 5 years it will take me to finally write the next blog... and
we can't have that, now can we. So, as always, since this particular blog
anyway, feel free to send financial motivation if you would like to see more of
my insane regurgitations prior to 5 years from now.
*** Please
Note: There is no guarantee either real and/ or implied that any motivation,
financial or otherwise, will cause the writer to produce the aforementioned
regurgitations at any time in the near and/ or distant future. You have been
warned... and Yes, You Are Welcome. You can thank me later. I know you want to.
... End semi-legal necessity.***
Good Day, Reader.
Feel free to go back to whatever it was you were supposed to accomplish today.
I, on the other had, feel the need for a cat nap. Really... Go... Go Now...
There is nothing more here... For Now. (You can feel the anticipation, that
there may, at some point be something more. I know you can. Don't worry... it's
okay, but you should possibly be afraid. Just saying. You Are Welcome... Again.)
-- End Blog Vomit--
